cahayaputerisolehah.blogspot.com
waiting...
11 Safar 1431 Assalamualaikum... I wonder y im doing dis...waiting 4 sumting dat mite neva happen...haix...wish i dun need 2 tink abt it too much...but i juz cant seem 2 stop tinking abt it... alhamdulillah tho, im nt depressed...so, i feel dat Allah is helping me cope wif my loss...i used 2 sink into depression easily...budden, as much as i dun show signs of depression (i tink i don't anw), wateva dat happened still affects me...i juz wish i know of a way 2 deal wif it...k, mayb i did tink of sumting...im juz wondering if it's gonna b a right thing 2 do... haix..so many things left unsaid...is it always like dat? or was i juz too egoistical? i dono if i wish i had done things differently..i wish he didnt leave me tho...suddenly, it all becomes very real...i haf 2 relli stand up on my own 2 feet...no more anyone 2 share, 2 rely on...ok, besides Allah..well, im still learning 2 b close 2 Him...insya-Allah, He'll replace my loss...at least He will always b around...no matter wat happens...but life without close frenz...i dono, juz seems crazy...i've neva been thru dis b4...i juz hope dat no matter wat happens, i'll rmmbr Allah... anw, ystd, had claz ngaji, n ustadz critekan sumting abt kiayi zakaria...hw dia didatangi syaitan, pertama, menyerupai ibunya dan mengajaknya masuk agama yahudi yg dikatakan benar..kiayi zakaria berpaling, kemudian didatangi syaitan yg meneyerupai bapanya dan mengajaknya masuk agama nasrani yg dikatakan benar, beliau pun berpaling lagi, lantas didatangi syaitan yang ketiga yang membawa air...offered it to kiayi, cant rmmbr de condition given tho, but kiayi refused of coz...den, syaitan pun lari... point is, time kite nak mati nanti, time tulah banyak dugaan...syaitan akan cuba menggoda kite untuk kluar drpd agama islam coz, datz de final time dat dey can eva do aniting 2 us...n hence, de qn is...is my iman kuat enough to mengharungi those dugaan? Ya Allah, matikanlah aku dalam iman...Amin.. Salam ukhuwah, Amal Hayati.
panic attack-lost wallet
10 Safar 1431 Assalamualaikum warahmatullah... tadi, kat skola, ade panic attack jap...was kinda rushing frm canteen to find one of my frenz coz she passing me her french bk 4 me 2 borrow...n den..aft getting de bk, i went 2 de lib...nak print notes 4 lecture...skali, bile dah set nak print, i searched 4 my wallet lah...need de cashcard... *poof* *bubble burst* *screamz inside heart* wallet's missing!!! was trying 2 keep calm, searched my bag a few times, confirmed it was nowhere around me, n had 2 log off de comp n thus begin my search...went back 2 de canteen n trailed back wer i walked/run earlier...carinye cari, tak jumpe jugak...da start panic seh...so, in d end, i decided dat it's bez 2 report lost...was quite upset abt my wallet...1stly, it contained my 2dollar-heart, given 2 me by smebody...it's kinda irreplaceable...n i honestly felt like crying knowing dat i mite haf lost dat 4ever...ok, in d end, i relli did cry anw...well, 2ndly, needless 2 say, it contained items like i/c, atm card, student pass n wat not...so, losing de whole wallet will definitely cost me, trying 2 replace all de items i've lost, nt 2 mention getting a new wallet... so, lepas report, i tried 2 search agn 1 laz time, pastu decide 2 go 4 lecture without my notes...called smebody n found out dat my number has been barred frm calling dat sumbody....wonderful...so, tot of msging, while msging, security guard called! my wallet's found! i totally thank de kind soul 4 returning my wallet....not evryone wd haf done dat, n im sooo lucky...oh, den, i ran 2 print notes, by de time smpai lecture theatre, perut senak mcm nak ape...gosh.... den, pastu, beli peach tea, coz i seriously felt like puking...apekan tak, lepas mkn lunch, terus lari sane, lari sini...needed sum flavour in my mouth... ohh...aft tutorial, still had 2 walk all de way 2 ntu south spine 4 french lesson...one tiring day seh 2day...in d end, bile dah sampai rumah, my legs totally felt like jelly... so, nw, i shall go get my beauty slp...slamat mlm! signing off, Amal Hayati.
swirls of emotion
8 Safar 1431 Assalamualaikum.. I haf a specialty..wanna knw wat it is? I juz haf a knack of making everyone around me angry n upset. relli. like 2day. haix...will i eva b able 2 b a better person? -Amal-
a happy day
5 Safar 1431 Assalamualaikum warahmatullah... Hello! Im feeling quite smiley rite nw..dunno y..mayb coz im nt tinking of my list of responsibilities? Tsktsk...but anw, I'm quite proud of myself today...minus de chemistry work dat im supposed 2 haf finished 4 tmr's lesson, I did all my tutorials dis wk! yea...so, feeling quite accomplished..yay! budden agn, it's juz de 2nd wk of sch...budden agn, 1st few wks of sch lah yg set de momentum, betul tak? so, so, 2nd lesson of french 2day...bought de workbk frm de photocopy shop at ntu south spine...mak aiii....de later2 parts of de course seems scary...i muz make sure i learn my vocab properly!!! but 2day was a good day...i crashed stats tutorial (another tutorial group) coz mine is on tues where i haf french claz aft lesson but teacher always end late, so..i kinda lose out on some solutions or points to take note of...juz cant stand de tot of it...so, i joined aina's grp! got fren mahh...doesnt matter... n gdness...dr cheang rmmbr my name! so, i still kene soal...haha..but i dun mind...i like his style~ makes sure i knw my stuff well...yepz...den after lesson, went to brunch wif aina, adilah, nasuha, salmah n madeline (nt sure if i spelt her name rite)..yepz...ate sausage mcgriddles wif egg..wif iced milo..=) aft brunch, all of us did our work, 4 me i did modern alebra tutorial...den had tutorial of coz...yea, n i wasnt lost except 4 de laz qn i tink...but ok ah...still happy...haha...aft tutorial, went lib 2 chill...went 2 use de comp, print notes n stuff..den, solat zuhur n went 2 claz which was unfortunately occupied...so, waited outside claz.... soo, aft tutorial, went to ntu south spine 2 buy my french workbk..yes...n den met monsieur nicolas outside claz n he told me dere was a french fair gg on n asked me 2 go n check it out b4 lesson starts...so, of coz i went! haha...met abbas dere n took 2 brochures...one from alliance francaise...d other is abt schooling in france which will juz remain a dream 4 me..*sighs* oh, n i tasted some thingy from delifrance...tasted like kuih baulu to me... back 2 french claz, was kinda funny but practically de whole claz din haf de txtbk...monsieur was like interrogating evryone who came late, hoping dey wd haf de txtbk coz it was relli onli a handful to be shared wif so many...but claz was great, or so i feel... n so dere goes my happy day 2day...n 4 once, i feel like im almoz back 2 being me..de me i knew a few years back...bienvenue amal! Luv, Amal Hayati.
quoted
3 Safar 1431 Assalamualaikum warahmatullah.. Alhamdulillah, org di sini sihat..cume penat je...anw, whilst surfing de net, i chanced upon dis quote n i felt dat it's so true...i juz felt like sharing it...yepz..n so here's de quote.. " when a girl builds a wall around her, it's not because she's avoiding a man or protecting herself...
she does it to find someone who would be man enough to break those walls just to be with her..."
isnt it wonderful to be able to find a person like dat? *sighs*
Anw, 2day was my 1st French claz..we learnt de basic greetings such as bonjour, datz de basic rite? it means good day..den, how r u, wat's ur nationality, wat's ur name..yea..n de answers to dat of coz...not much yet coz monsieur is still expecting new students nxt wk i tink...
btw, i tink it seems dat being happy is abnormal? i tink so far, 2 ppl haf asked me y izit i seem so happy? like isnt it gd 2 feel happy? i wanna b happy..=) i want to learn 2 luv myself properly n Allah n Rasulullah s.a.w. hmm...ohwells...cheerios~
Salam sayang,
Amal Hayati.
Scheduling my routine
23 Muharram 1431 Assalamualaikum warahmatullah... I've received my timetable for the semester. So, I'm currently trying to schedule a routine for myself to follow...I really hope I can be much more disciplined this year..I badly need it... Oh, I should be sleeping soon... Yea, anw, dere were lotsa things swirling in my head since I got back from chalet...but I'm totally nt in de mood to talk abt it..so, 4 2day, let's juz leave de entry as dis.. countdown: About 36 hours and 45 minutes to my 1st lesson of 2010. Wassalam.. Oh, n I met my Mendaki students 2day..for nw, Im happy..=)
chalet
20 Muharram 1431 Assalamualaikum! I'll b going off 2 tampines in awhile2 solat zuhur, den set off for pasir ris...im going off 2 d orientation planning committee initiation chalet...hmms...i tink it's more for bonding since we'll b working with one another for the nxt few months...im kinda excited n i hope everything will run smoothly insya-Allah..n i soo cant wait to start talking abt orientation! as in whether we shd stick to laz yr's theme n all...i want a pembaharuan...but yea, it's not a one-man decision...kla, if i dun wanna b late, i shd get ready...blif it onot, im nt done packing...heh... toodles!
tough year ahead..
Assalamualaikum warahmatullah... Hmm...was juz thinking to myself dat sch hasnt even started n im kinda starting to stress out alredi...perhaps im relli too ambitious...im trying to improve myself by making changes here and there, and yet im not making it any easy 4 myself, instead, im pushing myself to the limit by putting challenges n more challenges in my way for the upcoming year... will i succeed? or will i break? i relli hope i can do my bez dis coming year...i relli cant afford any more screw-ups...totally... haix....so, yea... i relli need to change my laziness! gosh..datz relli de one thing dat i cant stand in myself...n i relli hope 2 c dat changing...plz...let me get thru dis ya allah... signing off with strong hopes, Amal Hayati.
unwell
18 Muharram 1431 Assalamualaikum warahmatullah.. Hmm...kubersepi ade sebabnye..=) Hari Rabu lepas was my Atuk's bday..went to grandparents' hse to sort of celebrate...mum baked cake for atuk...den, since dere were kids around, mum put candles on de cake..de candles read 'happy birthday' as in satu letter satu candle..heh..ehh...i got picture actually...jap ehh..kene upload dulu...  ok...dis is it...de pic of de bday cake..looks yummy? it was so laris! some of de kids took 4 slices of bday cake...i managed 2 eat 1 1/2 slice i tink...ohwells...but, yea, it was yummy! ok, so, dat nite, i slept dere..at my grandparents house..wif 2 of my sistas...hmms.. nxt day....selsema...=( i tink i've been taking my health for granted, so i guess dis is Allah's way of showing me 2 appreciate good health wen i have it...insya-allah, wen i'm fully recovered, i'll take more care of myself...so, yea, after dat selsema day, de nxt day, i demam....satu hari tido...on off of coz...den, de following day pulak, saturday, had family gathering at east coast park...de official bday gathering for my atuk... not dat fun since i was sick, but i managed 2 haf fun playing boggle...heh..i happen to love dat game...n who, if not me, who was de one bringing dat game...=) so, smlm, wasted time...hope i'll get better soon tho...i've not been a very gd muslimah since i was sick i believe..kept on making excuses to myself coz im sick...how lame is dat... anw, 2day, i muz start doing prep work for intiation chalet (orientation planning committee members), Mendaki tuition(I'll be in charge of P5 n P6 Mathematics), and of coz sch....starts nxt wk....i'm soooo NOT PREPARED!!! k, no need 4 d outburst...isnt dat y i say I muz start preparing? ok den, tata titi tutu! Salam sayang, Amal Hayati..
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