11 Safar 1431

Assalamualaikum...

I wonder y im doing dis...waiting 4 sumting dat mite neva happen...haix...wish i dun need 2 tink abt it too much...but i juz cant seem 2 stop tinking abt it...

alhamdulillah tho, im nt depressed...so, i feel dat Allah is helping me cope wif my loss...i used 2 sink into depression easily...budden, as much as i dun show signs of depression (i tink i don't anw), wateva dat happened still affects me...i juz wish i know of a way 2 deal wif it...k, mayb i did tink of sumting...im juz wondering if it's gonna b a right thing 2 do...

haix..so many things left unsaid...is it always like dat? or was i juz too egoistical? i dono if i wish i had done things differently..i wish he didnt leave me tho...suddenly, it all becomes very real...i haf 2 relli stand up on my own 2 feet...no more anyone 2 share, 2 rely on...ok, besides Allah..well, im still learning 2 b close 2 Him...insya-Allah, He'll replace my loss...at least He will always b around...no matter wat happens...but life without close frenz...i dono, juz seems crazy...i've neva been thru dis b4...i juz hope dat no matter wat happens, i'll rmmbr Allah...

anw, ystd, had claz ngaji, n ustadz critekan sumting abt kiayi zakaria...hw dia didatangi syaitan, pertama, menyerupai ibunya dan mengajaknya masuk agama yahudi yg dikatakan benar..kiayi zakaria berpaling, kemudian didatangi syaitan yg meneyerupai bapanya dan mengajaknya masuk agama nasrani yg dikatakan benar, beliau pun berpaling lagi, lantas didatangi syaitan yang ketiga yang membawa air...offered it to kiayi, cant rmmbr de condition given tho, but kiayi refused of coz...den, syaitan pun lari...

point is, time kite nak mati nanti, time tulah banyak dugaan...syaitan akan cuba menggoda kite untuk kluar drpd agama islam coz, datz de final time dat dey can eva do aniting 2 us...n hence, de qn is...is my iman kuat enough to mengharungi those dugaan?

Ya Allah, matikanlah aku dalam iman...Amin..

Salam ukhuwah,

Amal Hayati.