27 Jamadilakhir 2010
Assalamualaikum warahmatullah...
Juz felt like sharing some thoughts...I used to b a keen blogger...updating my blog practically evryday...sumtimes even a few times in a day...but den agn, at dat time i had a certain enthusiasm abt me dat I feel was lost along the way...im nt sure if it's a gd thing onot...but mayb it's not good...coz from sum1 who used 2 b eva so cheerful, always thinking positively, loving Allah so much, loving herself so much, all smiles, eva willing 2 make new friends...I've changed...to sum1 dat I wouldn't say a direct opposite but evrything's now lacking...I'm not dat cheerful anymore...in fact, I actually flare up eva so easily now...tho, alhamdulillah...it's getting better...I'm relli working on it...Weneva I think abt shouting, I'll try 2 take a few deep breaths 2 calm myself down n at de same thing keep telling myself dat syaitan is asking me 2 shout...so plz don't shout...hmm....tho i still kinda raise my voice...sumtimes i feel so sorry 4 my siblings coz dey r usually my victims...esp my youngest sis...i tink wat she relli needs is attention..n i haven been giving it 2 her..i'm relli sori huda...i'll try 2 work on it...i luv u...
All smiles? I'm working on it agn...thinking positively...haix...i knw wat happened...but ya, i've gotta start working on it agn...loving myself? well, i'm trying 2 improve myself so dat i can luv myself n be kinder 2 myself...making frenz...hmm...dat used 2 b de centre of my attention...i like gg 4 camps n so on 2 make new frenz...it was fun...but now, it's juz not my priority anymore...but still...i tink i need 2 change...aft all i'm a muslimah...part of the muslim community...if i don't know my saudara seIslam, I dono...it juz doesn't seem rite...i'm not aiming 2 bfriend every Muslim in the world but I shd get 2 knw more of my Muslim bros n sisters..Insya-Allah...
Well, dis leads me to a topic dat was discussed in one of the MDI (Monthly Dose of Islam) sessions in NTU..a topic on Ukhuwah...b4 i touch on dat tho, I juz wanna say dat i honestly knw de root of de problem in the change of my character...it's simple actually...sumwer along the way..i started 2 drift apart from Allah...n coz of dat, it juz led 2 lotsa consequences...n some of it was feeling lost, being moody hence my hot-temperedness..my academics affected...basically, let's juz say evrthing in my life was quite a mess...
So, bros n sisters in Islam, whoever is reading dis blog...plz...dun 4get Allah...u relli wouldn't want 2 experience Allah 4getting u....but no matter wat I feel dat I was blessed bcoz even wen I was not doing my best for Allah, He was always dere giving me reminders n alhamdulillah...I'm back on de rite path, insya-Allah....
Thank u Allah...Let me stay on this righteous path Ya Allah...dun let me go astray agn...matikanlah diriku dalam iman Ya Allah..Amin..Ok, now back to de topic on ukhuwwah...basically, de ustadz was telling us about d ukhuwwah of de sahabahs....it's relli amazing how dey love one another at dat time...how much love do we haf 4 one another? r we willing 2 share our wealth wif other bros n sisters in Islam freely? One of d examples dat d ustadz gave was dat, if let's say u r alone in a rm wif another Muslim bro/sis, and u found dat sumting of urs was missing..let's say mayb money...u shdn't even b angry wif dat bro/sis...as a muslim bro/sis, if u relli love ur fellow Muslim, u wd juz think dat perhaps he/she was relli in need of de money, n juz halalkan...take it dat u sedekah dat amount or sumting liddat...
r we capable of dat? i tink i still haf a long way 2 go...hmm..ohwells...I tink I'll stop here 4 2day...May wat i type out in dis blog b a reminder 2 myself first b4 others..insya-Allah..
Salam sayang,
Amal Hayati.
