25 Zulkaedah 1431

Salam...

I juz had a talk wif my ex-bf...kinda got me emotional...i actually told him the outright truth abt wat i felt...was saying dat if he were 2 propose 2 me nw, i wudnt accept it...eh, i haf a valid reason k...it's coz of agama...he's not ready 2 lead...seriously...n i feel dat he doesnt put in enuf effort...datz my opinion lah...which 2 him muz b berat...coz he din grow up in de kind of environment i did...but izit wrong 4 me 2 hope for better? it's not rite? i mean it concerns my future...n de future of my kids..haix...

i felt cruel...but i tink it'll oso b cruel not letting him knw wat i relli feel...i want him 2 knw...so dat if he's relli serious, he'll gif some serious thinking abt wat i sed...i mean he alredi knws wat my dad feel...i've told him countless of times...

gargh...if onli i cud turn back time, i would neva haf gotten myself into a relationship. seriously. buat lebih dosa je...mcm lah pahala tu da banyak sgt...haix...

but anw, insya-allah, wat mistakes i make, will make me a stronger person...i do not want to make the same mistake twice. no more boyfriends for me, thank u very much. husband can. halal in islam. but not so soon..=/ im nt redi...

anw, let's get out of dis somber atmosphere...

i bought stickers! at jp, stationery island! it's pretty..=) but nice stickers are oso freaking expensive...haix...but anw, i bought de stickers to decorate my boring self-made organiser...heh... shall work on de deco even more wen i wake up later...

hmms...by right, im oso supposed to reflect on 1 hadith...it's one of my missions...shd i juz do it wen i wake up later? i tink i shd slp...

hmms...

kla, im gg 2 slp...nite2!

-Amal-